My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
