i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize