Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
