i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
