Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize