I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
