So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
