went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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