i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
