do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
