Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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