I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize