the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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