Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
