I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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