I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
