He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I cannot find my penis.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
