I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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