Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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