We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize