The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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