How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
