How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
