pedialite and red bull = repair kit
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
