$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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