Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Randomize
