So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
