I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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