I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A bitchslap is in order.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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