Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
