home. puking in laundry basket.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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