I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
