Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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