I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
