I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's great music for shaving your balls
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
