worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
there is glitter all over my balls
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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