youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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