I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
