do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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