maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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