so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
