the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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