he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
