you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
