no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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