We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
