My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
