How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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