a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What a dumb baby whore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
