Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
