I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
