i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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