Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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