i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
