Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
