Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize