Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize