No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
