I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
