she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
home. puking in laundry basket.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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