I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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